LOLA
When Plans Go Awry
Only one month into 2022, I am beginning to feel that all too familiar sensation of frustration that accompanies a setback. A new year usually brings a new set of resolutions for me (check out previous post here). I, like many people, can very clearly envision the desired outcomes I wish to accomplish after a ton of hard work and determination. I can plan, create spreadsheets with deadlines, create all the vision boards I feel compelled to but I am reminded that some of my resolutions fail (sometimes year after year) because something inevitably goes wrong – something I didn’t plan for. As we know, a failure to plan (in this case, not planning for a possible hiccup) is a plan to fail. An unforeseen obstacle may arise, my time and attention must turn toward another task or I have flat out lost most of the motivation that I once had and well, my efforts stall.
For the most part, I remain steadfast in my plan of action to achieve this year’s goals. However, there was one really important goal that I have already fallen behind on.
This goal, for me, was the most important goal to accomplish this year. If I had only one goal I could work on, it would have been this one. It meant everything to me to commit to achieving it. I started working on this goal long before this past New Year. And…..I recently discovered that I am even further away from success than I was on day one.
Miraculously, I didn’t completely fall to pieces as I thought I would. I must say that in of itself was a proud moment for me. I realized in that moment how much I have grown as a person not to revert to my same old, predictable habit. After initial shock, I managed to motivate myself in a way that I haven’t before. Below are some of the steps that I took to regroup and recommit to my goal:
Drink In the Moment
In the moment that I learned of my setback, I truly felt that I had let myself down. My first inkling was to throw my hands up in defeat and forget my goal altogether, feeling that my goal may be impossible to achieve.
Instead, I reflected again on why the goal meant so very much to me and I thought of what I would need to accept inwardly in order to give my goal another try. I had a lot of feelings swirling inside – frustration, sadness, incredulity to name a few. Realizing that letting these thoughts linger would not serve me or contribute to my progress. Instead, I acknowledged every feeling – why I felt them, why I no longer wanted to feel them, honored them and allowed myself the courage to stop feeling them. I decided that I had the opportunity to replace my disappointment with positive energy instead.
Step Away
Now that I had wiped the (emotional) slate clean, I allowed myself the freedom to step away from the situation and clear my mind. To go back to the beginning, so to speak, and reflect on my goal. I thought of the joy that achieving my goal would bring to my heart and the incredible sense of accomplishment I would feel in knowing that I had overcome obstacles to emerge victorious. The motivation I felt after this step overshadowed what I felt before by leaps and bounds.
Free Your Mind and Observe
Armed with self-encouragement and detached to the negative feelings I felt before, I found that I was able to review my plan of action with objectivity and old-fashioned problem-solving skills. I was able to determine, without self-judgment, what went well in my initial attempt and what didn’t. I reviewed the steps I initially planned to take and what I expected to get from the outset, the steps that I didn’t follow through on at all or (dare I say it), failed at.
Normally, this step would have been incredibly hard to get through, but it was the most productive step instead. It allowed me to determine how I could improve on every part of the process. The most important outcome of this step was identifying the key actions I must adjust. This was much easier to do without negative feelings lingering in the back of my thoughts.
Pulling the Wild Card
Comfort zones are titled as such because we feel at ease in them. But, we cannot expect new results if we follow our same (old) routines. Sometimes, our lives call for a radical change to a problem, an entirely new approach that we haven’t considered before, to shake things up. In the past, I’ve found that doing so provides new perspectives and experiences. In some instances, a radical change was just the missing ingredient I needed for the outcome that I wanted. With this step, I decided on an entirely new approach to my goal that I had not thought of before combined with small tweaks to my initial plan. It took a moment to adjust but I believe whole heartedly that it will prove worthy.
Disinvite Regret
With a new plan of action in hand and renewed energy, I disinvited the feeling of regret. Regret that I have (as I felt) wasted time and energy, regret that I was even further away from my ultimate goal and regret that I didn’t recalibrate sooner. Recognizing that regret will only derail my continued efforts, I decided to remove it from the equation altogether. Regret tends to take up a lot of space and the absence of it made room for me to be grateful instead. Grateful that I know where things stand in my goals journey and that I can now reclaim my excitement and motivation.
Try Again
If you find yourself in the same predicament as I did, just know that we all experience setbacks. The most important action, above all, is to try again. If you fail, plan and repeat again. It will make the end result that much more valuable that you never gave up on it.
Photos by Karolina Grabowska, Monstera and Sagar Soneji from Pexels
