LOLAHow Starting Over Led Me to a Swimming Pool
It has been way longer since I lasted posted on this blog than I would like to admit. My goal in starting this blog was to provide a space to post honest content that relays my own life experiences in a relatable way. My hope is that my content may even inspire others to take action, to set out and continue a healing journey or just find comfort in knowing that someone somewhere also experiences the same highs and lows in life. I find that this notion brings me solace when times get difficult, to know that I am not alone.
So, what happened? Life, I suppose. One roadblock led to another after another…until the idea of maintaining a blog seemed near impossible. It became a sore spot, a symbol of failure and the longer time went on, the worse the failure felt. I was disappointed in myself for not following through on something that was important to my heart.
For some time, meditation has been a near daily practice for me. For months, I didn’t dare reflect on the debacle (I felt) that this blog had become. After much reflection on many projects that I struggle to make progress on, I determined what the root cause of my dilemma is. It was simple, really. Underneath it all, I just did not feel capable. For me, starting on a new path where there are no rules or a definitive roadmap, I feel there is so much room to get things wrong. A lifetime of self-esteem issues caused me to assume that if there is room for failure, I absolutely will fail. My typical coping mechanism is to refrain from giving something new a try to avoid the failure that I believe is inevitable.
With so many months having passed, I came to realize that I could continue to stew in regret or take a chance. Best case, I could create something truly meaningful. Worst case, I would be no further off than I currently stood. In life, I have found that small steps can (eventually) lead to big change. So, as a symbolic reset, I took myself for a swim. I know, how does swimming relate to this blog? I have an amazing history swimming. It is not only favorite form of exercise but it is one of my best sources of confidence. In the pool, I feel limitless. I feel strong, confident and most of all, at peace. Swimming has gotten me through many difficult times in my life. However, over the past handful of years, it has been difficult to make swimming a consistent part of my weekly routine. But, it was important for me to do something that would give me a boost of self-esteem in the spirit of rebuilding my confidence. They say that like riding a bike for the first time in a long time, eventually you will find you groove. I can attest, this was in fact the case as I swam back and forth, establishing my rhythm again. I emerged from the pool feeling better and more motivated than I have in what seemed like an eternity.
And so, I am back and ready to give this blog (and all of my goals) a renewed start.
Action: Exercise to Reset
If you are experiencing difficulty or struggle to find the strength and confidence to pursue a goal, here is a quick exercise to jumpstart your journey:
- Set aside a time to spend a few minutes in a place that you feel positive in with a piece of paper. This can be outdoors in nature, in your bedroom before your day begins – anywhere that you feel comfortable and allows you to escape distraction.
- Visualize your goal. Think of your ideal outcome as if it has already happened. Be as detailed as possible.
- Acknowledge your feelings. How does the image of your successful, completed goal make you feel? Does it make you feel happy? Confident? Strong? Allow yourself to feel all of the emotions that come to you and hold on to the emotions that resonate most strongly within you.
- Express your feelings and thoughts. Write down any thoughts that come to your mind, any feelings you are experiencing. If you are more of a visual person, draw any images that come to you. If you are short on time, you can even record a voice note for yourself or even save images on your phone that speak to you. The goal is to outwardly express your positive feelings in a manner that you can refer to later.
- Meditate. Say your written words out loud, look at your drawn or gathered images or listen to your voice note. Allow yourself to feel gratitude for where your life’s journey has brought you thus far and the joy that you will feel when you have accomplished your goal.
- Plan your first step. Still holding the joy within you, identify the very first step that you can take toward your goal. It can be completing a necessary application, setting aside a few hours to complete much needed research – anything. The goal is to allow the joy to energize your first steps and make them feel less difficult or lighten any undesirable feelings you may have previously felt that has prevented your from completing your journey.
- Give yourself grace. Give yourself time and compassion as you complete each small step toward your goal. Take it day by day and be sure to congratulate yourself along the way. Consistent encouragement will continue to fuel your confidence along the way.
- Stand up again. Remember, every journey can have challenges. If you find that you stumble along the way, acknowledge that while a roadblock is disappointing, there is always another day and another chance to take your next small step.
Wishing the best of luck to you on your journey, dear reader.